Running ragged

Another day, another time struggling to come up with something to put down in this mini tome of mine. I think instead of killing myself with having to come up with gripes, problems, hassles, or even good things that happen to me on a daily basis, I'm just going to write stuff down that seems important. This might put my updates on an every other day posting habit, or might even be several times a day. Whatever the outcome, I'm not going to force myself to put things to paper, as it were, every day.

Anyway, that's enough of my rambling for now. It's late, I'm tired and I'm going to bed. Maybe tomorrow I'll have more.

Oi...

Last night, the company I work for had their annual employee appreciation dinner, which is a non-denominational way of saying Christmas Party, since the owners are Jewish. It was also the first time I went dateless. It was kind of a weird experience, sitting there by myself, but at least I could look at the waitresses and other women in attendance without fear of repercussion, if you know what I mean. The open bar and everflowing supply of rum and Coke helped me forget my availability, soon after I walked through the door (of course, I'm paying for it this morning).

I also had some time to think about the only woman who's expressed interest in me since my breakup, which isn't a good thing. I've heard from different circles that she's a drug addict and compulsive shopaholic, which at this time, I definitely DO NOT need.

What I need to do is focus on getting my bills narrowed down, raising my kids and getting the new portion of the business up and running. Well, that, and getting ready for the holidays. And more house painting. And revamping my room.

Oi... My head hurts. Maybe more Aleves will help.

I definitely drank too much last night. And I have work in a few hours.

It's going to be a long-assed day.

And now for something completely different...

Wow. Today was actually a pretty good day. Normally, I work second shift in the office, which affords me the opportunity to sleep in a little bit later and start things off at a more leisurely pace, but yesterday the manager asked me to open up for him while he went to a couple of doctor's appointments.

In between visits, he stopped in the office to specifically thank me for switching the schedule with him and then went on to thank me for all of the hard work I've been doing. He told me about previous employees that he'd trained that didn't work out, or even work for that matter. Once he'd gotten started with the compliments, they kept coming like he'd opened the floodgates of praise. I picked up the slack in his work that he wasn't able to get to without him even having to ask it to be done. I'd file claims on missing or damaged shipments when I saw he was working on something else. I worked three days on, one day off throughout the year without so much as a complaint. On and on he went until the office got busy again and then he had to leave for his next appointment.

His visit left me with a sense of accomplishment that I haven't felt in a long time. It also helped me smile, which I haven't done in an even longer time.

Bye Bye Baby

So here I am. The month is almost over and I think I'm almost over my ex.

I say almost because I believe that we're never really over the ones we truly love. Some little bit of them always remains in our hearts. We eventually get over the pain and emptiness that seems to linger until the end of time itself until all that is left are the joyous and happy memories.

There are still girls, well, women now, since it's been almost two decades since I've dated them, that I still have a fondness for. I occasionally look back to those days and I realize that they're still with me. Whether it's the way I look at something or a decision I make, I carry them with me. My only hope is that in some small way, they're thinking of me, also.

So I'm almost over the pain of missing her and the absence of her in my daily life. But I'll never forget her. That I can be sure of.

So in the lyrics of the Bay City Rollers, "Bye bye baby, baby good-bye."

It was fun; I had a blast; I'll miss you. Good-bye.

What am I, a doormat?

Today is my daughter's first birthday and I'm really excited to see her. I've got all sort of presents for her; toys, dresses, a pretty "Baby's First Birthday" party hat, even a collectible for her mother symbolizing the event.

And now I wait.

I've already called her mother a few times last night, to find out about going over to see Emma and give her the presents, but the calls went unanswered and not returned. The same thing goes for this morning. Meanwhile, I have two big bags sitting here.

This is nothing new for my baby's mother. Even when we were together last year, she used to treat me like garbage. It was nothing new for her to want to go birthday or Christmas shopping with her other kid's father. I would get so pissed off at her. I mean, what the hell?? She even had the audacity to comment to me that she was glad that I didn't go shopping with my son's mother, because she didn't know how she would take it.

Augh!!

It's like I'm a bother to her. I'm good for giving child support, and the occasional time to watch Emma while her mom goes out galavanting, but when I want to spend time with my daughter, my requests are either refused or ignored.

God, what a bitch.