Home for the holidays

Okay, so I'm pretty down in the dumps this holiday season. The plans I had to go to Pennsylvania are fucked, so it looks like I get to either stay home and wallow in my misery or go to my brother's house with his screaming wife and three screaming kids and listen to him scream at them to stop screaming, between his frequent visits to his workshop to get high. Then there's the enjoyment factor of my dad being there, too. Not that he's a bad guy or anything, but he has a personality that could bore a corpse. Add that to his remote hogging then promptly falling asleep on the couch and it should all add up to one festive evening. I wonder if there's a hole or something that I can crawl into until January.

I remember when I was a kid that Christmas and Thanksgiving were my two favorite holidays (in that order). I liked Christmas because, it was, well, Christmas. There's just something magical about it that used to make me feel good, deep down in my soul. Forget all the presents and crap. I loved the pure joy that I felt when it was that time of year. Thanksgiving gave me the same sense of joy, but on a little smaller scale. It was a time of family and friendship that I learned to love. I am thankful for my family and friends and I appreciate the fact that I was even asked to join them tomorrow. I guess what I'm dreading most is the sense of lonliness in my heart and the pure chaos that tomorrow is going to bring.

I want the feelings that I had as a kid back.